On women and politics

Over the week-end I was visiting one of my brothers. He and I started to discuss the US election and how the coverage of Hillary Clinton's bid was so over-done and boring. I know that political commentators have already gone over this but - for Christ's sake, it's not like women in other countries haven't been in power before. Margaret Thatcher, Indira Gandhi, Golda Meir, Benazir Bhutto, Angela Merkel - all women who have had or currently hold the position of head of state. Even in Canada we had Kim Campbell as prime minister. True, she was appointed rather than elected when the sitting prime minister Brian Mulroney resigned, but still, a woman held Canada's highest position, however briefly. She sat at the G8. She was there. And that was almost twenty years ago.

What also never seems to be covered is that although the right does not necessarily have a feminist platform, women get further in conservative parties. Margaret Thatcher came from nothing and rose to the top of the Conservative party in England. She did not ride the coat tails of her husband [and yes, obviously Hillary is strong and capable in her own right, but she also took every advantage of her husband's position]. In fact, what do we even know or care about Dennis Thatcher? I remember once listening to Judy Rebick, a ground-breaking Canadian feminist, who lamented just this fact about sexism in the left-wing.

So the left-wing can continue to analyse and naval gaze and all for now. As for women, they ARE making grounds. There are so many women in positions of power and it will continue. I don't know why people don't make more of Condoleeza Rice. Sure, maybe people abhor her politics, but talk about a woman who has progressed up the ranks. What we need to accept is that 'woman' does not equal 'feminist' which is more of a concern to me in current politics. To me it's no big deal that Hillary wasn't chosen. As far as I'm concerned whether or not it was Romney, McCain, Clinton, Obama, or Edwards [my personal pick], any of them was a better choice than Bush. I thank the goddess that Huckabee was not successful. And that's something we can all celebrate.

And now excuse me while I figure out whether I'm going to support the Liberal party or join the Conservatives in Canada to try and get rid of Bush-lite currently in power in Canada...

They meant well

Has your friend recently gone through a break-up? Are you wondering what to say? Let me give you some guidance on friends who tried their best but kind of missed the mark.

1. Oh my god your boyfriend was so hot. I couldn't believe it. When you guys walked into the party I was in awe.

Why this didn't work: Okay, I am well aware of how hot he was. I have video proof and don't need to be reminded. Also, this over emphasis on his looks is making me feel like a troll. I always date good-looking men and more to the point, why wouldn't I? Can we tone down the surprise a bit? Especially after a break-up all I hear is, "How the hell did you land him?" I'm not ugly! I'm not! Really!!!!

2. You know, you should stop trying to have an open relationship.

Why this didn't work: I have had many, many failed monogamous relationships. So have my friends. Do I stand there when friends are having relationship problems or when the guy cheats and say, "well, maybe if you would loosen up and let him have other lovers..." No, of course I don't. Everyone has their own way of being. Open relationships are hard, but so is monogamy and we did not break up because of other lovers.

3. Don't worry, you'll be dating again in no time.

Why this didn't work: Can we wait with this one until I've washed the stains off the sheets?

4. Let me tell you: He's forgotten about you already.

Why this didn't work: I realize that my friend was trying to say that I should just focus on myself, but come on, no one needs to hear this three days after they've been dumped.


What statements did help were actually kind of nasty against my ex so I won't detail them here. But they made me laugh. And regardless, I love and appreciate all my friends who in their own way tried to offer comfort. Even if the statements weren't always appreciated.

I'm moved

And as always, I am promising myself to get better organized. The move was complete hell. I had so many offers to help but because I'm so disorganized, if people had come over originally, there was no way of organizing them to do anything. Except for my kitchen which two friends came over and packed up last week-end.

My old apartment was way, way too crowded. That was another factor in getting me moved. So much had to be cleared out before anything else could be packed. I took my new place a week early so it did help to clear out some of the clothes. And then my movers came on Friday. It turns out that my box spring which has been sitting in the hallway for two years is also too big for my new place, and is now gracing my new hallway. Time to sell that baby...

Anyhow, once my movers left, there was still depressingly a lot to move. That was completely unexpected or I would have called on friends to come over on Saturday. However, my parents were there and they moved the last of it for me. I also got a call from a friend of mine on Saturday - nothing to do with my move, but when I answered and told him I was moving, he got so excited in telling me that he had bought a new car two days earlier and wanted to try out the hatchback. Hence, he took over a load of items for me.

Moving the cats was a whole other ordeal. There was no way of moving them on Friday as I didn't have a car so I slept at my new place, and left them in my half empty old place. I figured that the easiest way of dealing with them on Saturday was to let them go outside and keep their normal routine. As my father and I drove loads over to the new place, I took a cat at a time. The first one I grabbed was Fur. One minute she was sitting in a garden watching us move, and the next I had her stuffed into her kitty carrier.

The harder one to move was Tasha. In the summer she sometimes stays out for days. There was no sign of her nearing the end of the day and I realized that if I didn't get her soon, she would be out all night. Luckily when I called and called for her, she came near. I wasn't ready to drive over at that point, so I shut her in the bathroom until my father and I had packed the car. Getting her in her carrier was not easy, but resorting to the 'wrap and toss' - wrapping her in a t-shirt so her front legs were immobilized and then shoving her head first into the carrier - worked fine.

The cats were completely freaked out in the new place. They both haunted me the first night there. Now they are settling in and have gone back to their own routines. Today I am off work so I will see if they can be coaxed to go outside in the new neighbourhood. So far Tasha went running past me to go outside, only to turn around in terror and come bounding back in. I suppose it's a whole new set of scents to get used to here.

And my parents were troopers. They did so much for me. I know they were frustrated with my lack of organization, but they came through anyhow. They took me out for dinner on Saturday (I now live just down the street from our favourite Indian restaurant in Toronto), and last night I took them out for dinner as a thank you for their help. I had wanted to take them to a Korean restaurant, but as the one I had been thinking of was closed, we ended up at a nearby tapas bar. It was absolutely delicious and so simple. They really did a great job with the tapas. Our waiter also recommended the perfect wine for me to try. Of course I can't remember the name, but it was just the type I like.

I do love my new apartment though. Once the pile of boxed starts to diminish it will be great.