Thursday, May 24, 2007

Good-bye crap week!

Sweet Mary mother of Christ I am glad this week is over. Bring on the week-end!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Go see the doctor

I was sitting in a bar with a coworker one evening and in between sips of my gin and tonic, I was pontificating about how if you have multiple lovers, you should really wait three days between each sexual encounter to ensure that you haven't picked up any sexually transmitted infections.

She took a sip of her gin and tonic, nodded, and then asked, "Three days? Is that the rule? I mean, I know it's three months for testing for HIV, but I don't know much about the other STIs."

It's true - we both work for an HIV organization and believe me, we understand HIV testing, waiting periods, transmission, symptoms, and treatment thoroughly. But when we get calls for other STIs, we do the professional thing and refer callers to the nearest sexual health clinic. Still, we try to have at least a functional knowledge of syphilis, herpes, chlamydia, etc. Hence, my pronouncement of the three day rule was more than just a tip for our own sexual experiences. She was interested in that "fact" from a professional perspective as well.

I must confess, I was a little thrown off when she asked about the source of my knowledge. I remember thinking, "Doesn't everyone know that?" And then I started to wonder why I was so adamant about the three day rule.

Was it in a public health pamphlet? Had we covered this in school? Why was my colleague unaware of this valuable insight? I was a few G&Ts in so trying to do factual recall was particularly arduous.

Then, somewhere in the back of my mind I could hear the words -

Three days later...
Woke up fussing, yelling and cussing
Drip drip dripping and puss puss pussing
I went to the bathroom and said "Mama mia!"
I'm a kill that girl next time I see her

... The poontang was dope and you know that I rocked her
but three days later go see the doctor

I looked at my friend and confessed to the source of my fact: "Um, Kool. Moe. Dee."

Yes, Kool Moe Dee's "Go see the doctor" [aka, my favourite rap song] was the apparent basis for my three day rule. We both burst out laughing.

[Thank goodness I never told a client about Kool Moe Dee's rule.]

Saturday 1am: I'm so tired. I know it's the week-end but I've been at a bbq all day and wanted to sleep. I just called the cops on my idiot neighbours who are having yet another party. Welcome to the neighbourhood boys!

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Can't I just donate money?

I went to buy roller blades the other day. However, the only pairs that the store I was in carried had the breast cancer ribbon on them. It pissed me off and I walked out. I also never go into the Running Room because half of their clothing has the pink ribbon on it as well.

Not that breast cancer isn't a worthy cause. In fact, I donated a crap load of money to it this year in support of a friend who just went through breast cancer. But that's it - if I want to donate to a cause, I can find their web site. I do not need to have the cause perma-etched on my apparel.

[HIV is the cause that I always support and I don't buy Bono's project red items either.]