Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Fear of BBQs

TM and I are the proud owners of the Big Green Egg(tm) grill and smoker. We love it. I can bake pizzas and grill my veggies and tofu on it, he can toss all sorts of dead animals on. I even learned how to start it and use it (I was never a bbq person) - and so far I'm loving it. However, I'm also somewhat scared of it.

My fear has little to do with the heat and smoke. Instead, it's because I find the BGE too close to this:

To non-insane people, the resemblance may not be there, but I can't stop thinking that the damn thing is going to start barking "Exterminate! Exterminate!" and then zap me. Normally I would view this as revenge of the meat, but for fuck's sake I eat tofu. No need for a bbq to turn on me!

Moreover, TM has threatened to attach a toilet plunger to the front of the bbq and wheel it around after me. I don't think he's taking my terror seriously. If you read about a woman dead of a heart attack found near a bbq with a plunger attached to it - you will know that Snooze is no more.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Blame it on the ring

Marriage is making me fat. I have become a lazy little cow - shuffling between work and the couch and deluding myself into thinking that walking home from work is enough exercise in the day. Must get back on track...

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Stupid fact about me you don't need to know

I named my most recent vibrator after a committee I have to deal with at work. It makes booking meetings very entertaining for me. "Oh yes, I think I need MORE meetings with Committee X..."

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Good day/ Bad day

It was one of those nothing days today. Work filled with successes and meeting with people I admire, and also having to suffer through some other moments of work that kill my will to live.

The day started well: I woke up at 6am and actually got out of bed instead of going back to sleep. I function much better if I get up when I first wake up. However, I had no cash whatsoever left in my wallet and needed to find the vital $2.36 before setting out with the dog for her morning pee, and my doppio espresso. Alas, change was not easily found. I had already gone through our $1 and $2 coins, as well as most of the quarters. As such, I was counting out dimes and nickels in desperation. Finally with the right amount in my pocket (plus enough for a decent tip), my espresso cup, and the doggy, I set out.

First stop: Starbucks. I get my doppio and chat with one of the coolest barristas ever. Then the doggy and I continue on to the park. With the insane heat wave that Toronto is having, my coffee doesn't cool down much so I haven't even had a sip when we get to the park. I REALLY prefer to finish my espresso prior to the dog taking a dump, but that didn't happen today. So I dutifully went to pick up her poo (barf, but doesn't bother me much now), and set my espresso cup down as far away as possible. But did that deter the doggy? Of course not. In her eagerness to greet another dog, she yanked on her leash and somehow crashed into my lone sad cup.

People, this is nothing in the grand scheme of things, but seeing that liquid gold seep all over the concrete? I wanted to cry. Especially knowing that I had no cash to buy another. I think that you might have caught mention of the trauma on CNN. It *may* have been eclipsed by the capture of a serial killer out in California, and I get that, but this was a tense moment.

The dog and I returned to the condo and had breakfast (kibbles for her, kibbles for the kitties, and yoghurt and frozen blueberries for me). I noted then that the dog also had some sort of extra snack. I wasn't sure what it was - peanut brittle? granola? Could not for the life of me figured what she had stolen. And then I realized... a big hunk of clumped cat litter. She had wormed her way into the nook where we keep the cat box and fished out a chunk. Fuck. I only realized this as I was poking the mass. I have watched my cats kill mice, but that pales in comparison to the grossness of what dogs like to snack on. This dog is so damn cute that I can't be angry at her, but sheesh. No espresso and having to witness shit-eating. Not my way to start the day.

However, I did find $2.50 at the bottom of my work bag, did get an espresso on the way to work, and best of all, did watch Spain win the semi-final. Or at least I watched the last 15 minutes. Stupid work. Then I came home and made vegetable soup au pistou. What a thrilling life I lead.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

God Save the Queen

So many queens last week-end at Pride, and now today I am going to go and see the ultimate Queen - Elizabeth II. Then I have FIFA to watch at a late lunch. Goodness! I'm going to be at work until at least seven tonight just to get my hours in. Actually, I think that going to hear the Queen's address is a government approved work event. After all, in order to work for the provincial government you do take an oath to serve Her Majesty. To be honest, I never think of the Royal Family, but I'm looking forward to this. I think she's awesome.

Yesterday there was a mini black-out in Toronto and it affected the hotel where the Queen was due to dine. She took it all in stride. I thought, "well no fucking wonder. The Royal Family didn't even leave London during the blitz." A black-out is nothing for QEII!

Friday, July 02, 2010

Marching on

Yesterday was Canada Day but as I am disgusted by this country right now with our police state mentality and the social conservatism that our petty prime minister is bringing in I could not see a flag without wanting to vomit. Also, there were no World Cup games so I largely spent the day with the dog, either walking or sleeping. In the evening TM and I went to a fabulous Canada Day party at his friends' place. It was more of a housewarming. Amazing food, fantastic people, and no flags so it was a good time.

However, today I will smile fondly on Canada again because it is the start of Pride week-end in Toronto and I will be marching in the second annual Trans March. I need to try and get a Sis-squared t-shirt made up between now and tonight. That's short for Cisgendered Sister (cisgendered being people whose gender identity matches their felt identity), and is how my sister and I will be referring to me. TM will also be marching which makes me very happy to be his partner.

Happy 4th to everyone in the States and Happy Pride to everyone everywhere!