Thursday, August 16, 2007

Not a happy camper: Part II

I vaguely remember trying to burn down the tent [with him inside] but being unable to light the kerosene.

We had been in Scotland for a week staying with my aunts. Every time we spoke with my relatives they would look dumbfounded and ask, "You're going camping? Why don't you stay at a nice bed and breakfast?"

Why indeed.

Yet here we were in our rental car stopped at a seaside town on the west coast of Scotland. It was early May and it was cold. I already was being miserable and unadventurous (but from now on I'll paint myself as the suffering victim like I had no guilt in what transpired at all, okay?). There were two campsites in the town and we drove around each of them.

I have already admitted that I didn't take easily to camping to begin with, but I had grown to appreciate the beauty of sleeping in northern Ontario/Quebec when you have lots of space and are surrounded by forest. I still see the point to camping if it's to get away from everything and you are in wilderness that has no cabins. This was camping in a field where each tent was about one foot from the next. Basically this was camping that you did to save money instead of staying in a hotel.

This is the sort of camping that I see absolutely no point to. Not when we were two single people with enough disposable income to afford a bed and breakfast. Instead we were sleeping in a cold, wet tent for the sake of - well, I still have no idea.

I do remember crawling into my sleeping bag that night and putting on a hat and mitts. I also remember my boyfriend trying to undress me. This is what precipitated trying to burn down the tent. I remember thinking, "SEX? You want SEX? Are you out of your fucking mind?" First of all, I was too cold and too annoyed to even think of it. Secondly, we were one foot away from the next tent and I wasn't into putting on a show for everyone. And last but not least, I was completely uptight about the fact that we weren't able to wash the sleeping bags. There was no way I was having sex in one.

We got in the car very early the next morning and headed north.

12 comments:

Rebekah said...

Oh dear.

Sounds like K.O.A. campgrounds ("Kamping Of America). Usually gravely places with a bit of crabgrass if you are lucky, a public restroom with no toilet paper, and most often right next to a highway.

I am so with you sister.

Freak Magnet said...

I don't see the point of that type of camping, either. It's just... sleeping in a tent close to all sorts of strangers. You need to be in the woods. Alone.

Dantallion said...

Yeah - communal camping seems pretty pointless to me as well.

Having sex without letting anyone nearby hear, on the other hand, can have its charms

Tickersoid said...

Last time I went camping, the pitch had not a single square foot, that wasn't already contaminated with sheep shit.

Happy days.

tornwordo said...

Ugh. Nothing worse than cold camping. And that's not real camping. Real camping is in the wilderness.

MeHereNow said...

Camping .... in Scotland .... in May? Oh my good god woman!! Now I love Scotland - Celt through and through but camping .... in Scotland .... in May?!?!? Did I say that already?

Snooze said...

Rebekah: KOA is an apt comparison

FM: That was the next phase. In the woods alone where no one could see where I buried his body

Dantallion: Not with the tent neighbours we had.

Tickers: Gross. At least I didn't have to deal with that

Tornwordo: If we had been hiking the west highland trail and hadn't been near b&b's I would have been amenable to camping. And you're right about the cold.

meherenow: lol - obviously you know of what I speak!!! And it was early May too.

HotDudi said...

Well he certainly wasn't going to be heading south!!! ;-)

tworabbitshow said...

When I went camping with Mr. It's-not-camping-unless-you're-lighting-the-fire-with-two-rocks-struck-together it was a) in the wilderness, b) freezing cold, and c) rained every day except the day we headed for home.

Don't tell anyone but I actually had a great time. Once you suck it up and accept that you're going to be cold and wet and uncomfortable it gets much better.

Snooze said...

Hotdudi: omg - that took me a second to get. Too funny!

TRS: You're so right. Unfortunately I was so focussed on how my plans were ruined that I made sure that we didn't have a good time.

Stewie said...

Normally, I don't understand why anyone would turn down sex, especially when others can hear.

But I'm with you on this. It's cold, it's raining and you are separated from the damp earth by only a thin piece of tarp and a not much thicker blanket-like material. No way.

I'd still be down for a trip down south, though (be it driving or being the passenger). I'm always up for that. And, I swear to God, no pun intended.

Snooze said...

Stewie: Sex was so far from my mind that night that even now when I think back to it I want to become a nun.