Must be in the air

Like many bloggers, I have come down with insomnia. Only tonight though, and probably related to the fact that I had half a cup of coffee at 7. Normally it doesn't affect me but I've been cutting down on caffeine. And I'm stressed beyond belief at work. Good times!

Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean I'm wrong

My boyfriend has gone AWOL. Only for a little bit, but it's very weird. I'm trying not to be completely paranoid, but it's odd to not touch base Saturday night.

confession

I came home from a fun getaway week-end with R. only to discover that one of my cats had vomited on the end of my bed. I went to sleep anyhow, went snowboarding the next day, and voilà - as I had hoped - the stain was all gone.

Courtesy of one of the cats deciding to have the 'leftovers'.

Yes, I'll sit there

The other day I was thinking about how often I give up my seat on public transportation. And then I thought: I'm a 40 year old woman. People should be giving up a seat to me!

I immediately decided to no longer give up my seat to anyone except to the frail elderly, women who are really, really obviously pregnant (too many times I've offered my seat to non-pregnant women), and people who are disabled. Apart from that, it's my turn to be comfortable.

Today I was standing in a very crowded subway car and a young guy (early 20s) offered me his seat. I was ecstatic and accepted gratefully. I have no problem with people calling me ma'am or showing me respect. I am older now. I embrace it. I thanked the guy and enjoyed a relaxing ride home.

Valentines Day my way

I'm not that into Valentine's Day as a romantic holiday. I do find it contrived and I hate the over focus on couples for the day. Especially because all the ads emphasize that showing your feelings for someone is done via 'romantic' dinners or flowers. [except I do love the chocolate] R. has much the same feelings about the day. However, I did feel that since we were going out, that we were obliged to at least spend the day together. It seems just as silly to me to avoid the damn day as it does to get all nutty and emotional about it.

At the same time, I do think that Valentine's Day is hell for people who are recently single. There was one friend of mine who went through a difficult break-up this year , and I hadn't seen him in ages. I suggested to R. that we go out drinking with him. The two had never met and I figured that they would get along great. I wasn't wrong. I also figured that this would get my friend to not get morose thinking about his ex.

We had a great time at the Madison pub, ate crap food, and got absolutely trashed. R. ended up having to put his hands on my shoulders and guide me home I was having so much trouble walking in a straight line. Then once we were home alone we did do some couple activities: we had wild drunken sex.

What made the evening special to me, apart from the fact that I'm a drunken whore and love evenings like that, is that my bf was willing to spend the evening with one of my friends and didn't insist that we do something alone together. It meant the world to me that we used our current happiness to spend some time with someone very close to me who was feeling a bit lost this year.

From the past

I found an old notebook. In it I found this...


You talk about my hole
as if all along
I'm waiting for you to fill me
when in fact it is I
who must
shrink to fit.