Small steps

Slowly I am getting my body back. I gained a ton of weight in my thirties, and without obsessing about it, I've been getting back to eating habits I used to have - smaller portions and more awareness of what I'm eating. I also made the new year's resolution that I would eat one salad a week. Yeah, not a big deal, but it was to me. So far it's working.

I've lost maybe five pounds in total (like I said, this is not some miracle change), but slowly I am getting out of the higher risk zone for heart disease and type two diabetes. Not to mention that I am sooooo much happier to have smaller breasts. Note the *I* am happier about this. It's not an issue to me what men do or don't like. Besides, my breasts are still spectacular and a whole lot more comfortable to have!

And lest anyone think that I'm anorexic or body obsessed, let me note that at 5'5" and 145lbs, there is about 50 lbs between me and anorexia.

Time change has done me in

I'm a morning person yet I can't wake up anymore. I miss the sunny mornings (although it is nice to have a longer evening).

My memoir

Tagged by Perplexio...


Here are the rules:

1. Write your own six word memoir.
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post.
4. Tag five more blogs with links.
5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play


Such a small life I lead.



I tag Lesley, Dickey, Radmila, Freak, Stewie, and Greg [remember Greg? Is he but a ghost now?]

The TTC needs tanks

Twice in the past month I have experienced significant streetcar delays (meaning I'm stuck sitting for half an hour on a stuck streetcar) because some idiot driver has parked their car at the side of the road, blocking the streetcar tracks. I realize that with Toronto's lack of efficient snow clearing that it can be challenging for drivers to park in the city, but I also don't care. When it come to public good (i.e. public transportation) vs. personal convenience, I choose public good.

I think those vehicles should be towed ASAP and fined up the wazoo. There is no way that one person should be allowed to delay hundreds of commuters. And overall I support more public transportation - it's kinder to the environment and is the only solution over-all for the elderly and the working poor. If Toronto doesn't have the money to effectively snow clear, then they should put up signs banning on street parking on streetcar routes when there is significant snow accumulation. They do it for movie shoots.

For both delays it took ages for tow trucks to arrive. It seems that if you are one minute over the 'no parking after 4pm' rule on major streets that tow trucks swoop in at the ready. I don't see why it can't be they can't be on alert near streetcar routes. My bf was arguing with me [because I was ranting about banning all SUVs in the city...] that families need those to get their kids around. Me, I don't buy it. Poor families manage with streetcars. Yes, it's not as convenient, but it's high time we broke the ridiculous car culture in North America. Outside of major cities and for travelling between the cities I see the need, but otherwise, our reliance on the car has brought about hideous box store sections, rising obesity rates, and increased air pollution. I support public transportation and initiatives like AutoShare. I hate cycling, but we do need more bike lanes as well, not more highways.

How not to network

The other morning I was working away trying to get an urgent request completed for my boss. The phone rang and I answered it in my best happy government employee voice. The caller was looking for my predecessor, who I don't know. The first thing I wanted to clarify was if she was calling for the actual person (i.e. knew my predecessor and this was a personal call), or was calling for the role of my predecessor (in which case I would step in and assure the caller that I could do whatever work was required).

The caller assured me that she was calling for my predecessor, and I explained that I didn't have contact info for the person. The caller continued. She asked how long I had been in my position and when the other woman had left. I was getting annoyed. You don't call up someone and start grilling them on their position. Then she started talking about her experience in the field. I realized then [albeit it had taken me a while] that she was networking and job hunting. She proceeded to tell me all her experience and then ask me for my boss' contact info and THEN to ask when a good time for her to come in would be. Just to be clear, there is a subtle, yet highly significant, difference between being proactive and being inappropriate.

Right now my area is working constantly to meet deliverables which have all come due at once. We're getting it done, we're coping well, but we've been so busy that we haven't even had time to meet as a team regularly. When someone tells you that they are busy and don't have time to meet, be gracious and tell them that you'll get back to them when their schedule allows.

I have NO problem with someone calling about jobs. In fact I admire the woman for cold calling. But the process should have gone more like, " Hello is [person's name] there? No? Oh do you have her new contact info? Okay, well I'm looking for work and I would like you to keep me in mind." I even asked the woman to send me her resume and that I would keep it on file. And I meant it. Maybe she wrote my name down wrong but I never did get her resume. I hung up the phone feeling vaguely sad that this person is going to be frustrated in her job hunt and not understand why.

Advice for today [and oh so TMI]

At one of the last HIV conferences I attended one of the speakers was discussing HIV transmission in men. He made the statement that in North America it is always emphasized that anal sex is so much more risky than vag sex and that the image of anal sex is that it causes damage and involves tearing/blood all the time. He mentioned that in his practice he saw TONS of gay men and never, ever was anal damage an occurrence from regular consensual sex. I was part of the panel presentation and was sitting beside him at the front of the room so I couldn't turn to him and say, "omg you're so right", but he was.

It may be different for gay men, as what choice do they have if they want to have penetrative sex? - but for women I think there is a definite idea that anal sex is more painful and can be damaging. Certainly I was in my 30s before I had anal sex and all I can tell you is prior to even considering it I had heard such statements as "It's so painful". "Use lots and lots of lube. LOTS" "Guys have to trick women into doing it" "You just have to past the pain"

Let me tell you [and let you be warned to stop reading if details bug you], when I lost my virginity vaginally, I was in so much pain. And blood? Our bed looked it had been part of a movie set for the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. As for when I first had anal sex, it was all very Brokeback Mountain. [or to quote a very good friend of mine, "You mean he just spat on your ass and stuck it in?] Indeed. In fact I didn't even know what he was planning. One second I had a finger up my ass, the next I thought, "What the hell is he doing? Oh. my. god." and that was it. And I am physically not some sort of loose, stretched out creature so don't think that my experience has to be unique. Relax and enjoy.

You know, whether or not a woman decides to have anal sex or not is up to her and her partner. For that matter, any type of [consensual] sex act [between adults] is up to the individual but I can't stand the fear and terror that seems to accompany anything considered outside the norm.