the looming shadow

With my mother recovering at home and all fine except for a majorly broken arm, the wedding plans are now at the forefront again. I am grateful that neither side is trying to go overboard on preparations. I am also trying hard not to fall into some sort of bridal craze. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes I start to think, "I wonder what I'd look like in a white gown" despite the fact that wearing a white gown would be so alien to me. I force myself at those moments to examine each part of 'what is expected' and see if it makes sense to me and to C. If it doesn't, it doesn't get done. It is also important for us that our families are happy.

Please note - I am [obviously] only discussing what works for me and C. and our families - many people choose different paths and that's their choice. C. and I ideally wanted a simple City Hall wedding. We realized though that it was important for our families to be there and so we agreed to a family-only wedding and reception.

We skipped the engagement ring, I didn't choose a long white dress, he will not be wearing a tie, much less a tux, and we are getting married on a Sunday by an officiant in the clubhouse of my parents' condo. We are having wedding rings, flower girls, and a formal dinner. And of course, my shoes cost 4x as much as my dress (I'll never wear it again - no point in spending much on it IMO- whereas the shoes, sigh, they are beautiful). C's outfit cost by far the most but we decided to also get him a kick-ass pair of shoes and a gorgeous jacket which he will be able to wear well into the future. I asked my mother to make the cake and she did. It's the traditional Scottish fruit cake which is now being bathed in brandy. Of course many people hate fruit cake but I love it and am so happy that we are doing that.

In short, we tweaked and trimmed to suit our tastes, but we are having a very typical wedding. And now, as I am bored beyond belief with the amount of time I have had to devote to planning all of this stuff already, I will return to regular life. Tomorrow I took the day off to hit the hills with a friend from high school. She is taking two of her sone skiing - however, her third son is a snowboarder so I will board with him. This will likely be the last chance to get out there before all the snow melts.

Deep breaths

Not the pervy kind, I'm only trying to stay calm and keep moving forward.

• My move was a nightmare. Last week I was at my old place until at least midnight every night doing final packing/moving/cleaning. The last night was the worst and thank heavens for the extra tags you can buy for garbage bags (you only get to throw out a binfull of garbage every two weeks, but you can pay for stickers if you need to throw out more. I love this because I still felt like I should pay more for all my excess garbage). And yes, I had TEN bags of extra garbage. This is in addition to 12 bags of recycling. Much of the garbage was old clothes that were not fit for Goodwill and broken appliances, etc.
• Wedding plans are moving along but are taking more time than intended.
• Not only did I move apartments, both my offices are moving and both libraries with those offices are moving. This is an endless hell
• My mum is currently in hospital with a broken arm so I have been running between work and the hospital and keeping my dad company. I am completely counting my blessings as her broken arm was the result of what could have been a much, much worse accident. I'm lucky to have my mum at all.
• By broken arm I am talking about a compound fracture that required pins, plates, and wires to set it. In fact, I had to leave the emergency room when I saw her wrist as I was about to faint/vomit and the emergency ward definitely did not need to be babysitting me.
• let me mention again about how blessed I and all my family are to still have my mum with us.