Tuesday, March 16, 2010

the looming shadow

With my mother recovering at home and all fine except for a majorly broken arm, the wedding plans are now at the forefront again. I am grateful that neither side is trying to go overboard on preparations. I am also trying hard not to fall into some sort of bridal craze. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes I start to think, "I wonder what I'd look like in a white gown" despite the fact that wearing a white gown would be so alien to me. I force myself at those moments to examine each part of 'what is expected' and see if it makes sense to me and to C. If it doesn't, it doesn't get done. It is also important for us that our families are happy.

Please note - I am [obviously] only discussing what works for me and C. and our families - many people choose different paths and that's their choice. C. and I ideally wanted a simple City Hall wedding. We realized though that it was important for our families to be there and so we agreed to a family-only wedding and reception.

We skipped the engagement ring, I didn't choose a long white dress, he will not be wearing a tie, much less a tux, and we are getting married on a Sunday by an officiant in the clubhouse of my parents' condo. We are having wedding rings, flower girls, and a formal dinner. And of course, my shoes cost 4x as much as my dress (I'll never wear it again - no point in spending much on it IMO- whereas the shoes, sigh, they are beautiful). C's outfit cost by far the most but we decided to also get him a kick-ass pair of shoes and a gorgeous jacket which he will be able to wear well into the future. I asked my mother to make the cake and she did. It's the traditional Scottish fruit cake which is now being bathed in brandy. Of course many people hate fruit cake but I love it and am so happy that we are doing that.

In short, we tweaked and trimmed to suit our tastes, but we are having a very typical wedding. And now, as I am bored beyond belief with the amount of time I have had to devote to planning all of this stuff already, I will return to regular life. Tomorrow I took the day off to hit the hills with a friend from high school. She is taking two of her sone skiing - however, her third son is a snowboarder so I will board with him. This will likely be the last chance to get out there before all the snow melts.

11 comments:

Susan as herself said...

Haha! I thought I was the only one who actually likes fruitcake!

eroswings said...

Put me down as another one who luvs fruitcake! I usually take 'em when they pass 'em around at work! They're good with milk or a milkshake or ice cream!

I have to say, I'm really excited about your upcoming nuptials. Your wedding should just be that: Your wedding, however you want it with the people you love!

Who says you can't wear your wedding dress again? What about Halloween? And who says you can't wear it out on a nice night on the town? Or maybe while watching a movie at home and eating poutine?

Be careful and have fun snowboarding! Don't hurt yourself! I don't think a cast is a bridal accessory!

Ponita in Real Life said...

I'm three that loves fruitcake! My mum made fruitcake every Christmas. Well, actually, long before and it got doused with rum once a week for a couple months... OMG! That was good stuff! Dark and moist and chock full of fruit and nuts... yum!

Your wedding sounds lovely... and it should be whatever the two of you want...

CoffeeDog said...

Things are shaping up quite nicely, wow, you're getting married! :-)

Lesley said...

I also love the fruitcake, especially when it's homemade. Your wedding sounds like it will be a good combination of including the family and being true to yourselves. Brilliant.

Also, glad to hear your mother is recuperating.

Rox said...

Who knew all the people in the world who love fruitcake also read your blog?! I LOVE fruitcake!

When I think back on our wedding, I'm grateful for the little things that we did that we wanted. Of course, there was stuff that we did to make everyone else happy too. It's the ability to make concessions in both a wedding and a marriage that's the stuff of lasting love.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Just to be the black sheep: I'm ambivalent about fruit cake. I used to love it, but went off it a little more with each Christmas, much to The Mother's chagrin (is that the right word?).

I'm so pleased your wedding is for you, and not a hideous compromise for everyone.

Eros' coments about the wedding dress make me think of that Friends episode where Monica and Phoebe wear wedding dresses while washing up, throwing the bouquet and watching TV!

Snooze said...

I am amazed and yet delighted that so many people love the fruitcake, and IDV, that's okay that you don't. I found this quote that sums up for me why so many North Americans hate fruitcake: The wow factor for fruit cakes is, hands down, the alcohol! The typical American versions are rich in florescent looking fruit and nuts, but very dry and alcohol free…we’re convinced this is why here in America, its loathed and the brunt of holiday jokes. It usually gets thrown in the trash right? Traditional recipes are saturated with wine, rum, brandy or other liquors and covered in powdered sugar. The longer they soak (we're talking weeks), the more rich, moist and flavorful they become. Now THAT sounds deelish." [and oops - awful me - can't find the site I got this from]
I actually now have three wedding dresses. All of which will be worn. Don't worry - you get all the details in a following post - yay! yay! yay!

Stewie said...

Your wedding sounds awesome. I need to find a woman who can get behind something like that.

tornwordo said...

So has the deed been done? It sounds just perfect to me.

Snooze said...

Stewie: Oh you would have to have Joy wearing a seafoam dress as part of your wedding party. That would be great.

Tornwordo: The date is the long week-end in May.