Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Gratitude and yet impatience

  • After 9 weeks, my son was supposed to be released from hospital today but yesterday he 'failed' his car seat test. This was a test where they set my son in his car seat on a stand and monitored his oxygen levels. Long story, but the doctor assured me that this test had nothing to do with his actual health, my son is well, but that this controversial test will keep him in the hospital for another day. I cried my eyes out when I learned he couldn't go home on Wednesday. However, he should be released on Thursday. They are repeating the test today.
  • I am unbelievably grateful though that my son is doing well and will be going home. I've met parents who have one healthy twin and another who is very ill or dying. I've met a single mom who due to some past addiction issues is having her baby apprehended by the state - she will get to see her baby, but has to jump through a few more hoops. Whether or not you have sympathy for her (and I do), it is still hell for anyone to not stay with their baby.
  • I found out via email that my job is being transferred to a new government agency. Likely this means good-bye to many of my benefits, my pension, and the security of union status. Still, grateful to have a job at all in this economy. TM's job is commission-based so we really need my job. I'm still not sure what this transfer will do to my maternity leave. All I want to do is cry right now, but again, for now I have a job to return to.
  • My health is back. I've started walking to the hospital in the morning. It's a brisk 45-minute walk. I'm frustrated with my weight and muscle tone, but I have to start somewhere. Besides, I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight so this is just a reflection of work on my body that existed long before pregnancy.
  • Half of my stuff is packed away in storage, including my waxing kit and make-up. I am a hairy, haggard beast right now. However. we packed and cleaned in order to make our condo appealing for the market. We also moved into my parents' for a week. It all worked though as our place sold in 4 days for pretty much what we were asking.
  • Although I am not looking forward to moving again in three weeks, with half our stuff in storage it won't be as difficult a move, and I am looking forward to living in our new condo, and having a second bedroom for the baby. Our current place is not set up for a baby.


rox said...

You are doing what I do, when life sucks for me, I try to compare it to others' problems and get some perspective. He will be home soon and he will thrive in your care, mama!

Congrats on getting your bod back so quickly!

Susan as Herself said...

That sucks about the job... UGH. But so happpy the baby is doing well and you will soon be in a new space that will be more comfortable. Times of transition are hard... but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Sending good thoughts from the Windy City!

Lesley said...

I hope the hospital releases your son today! I'm sorry to hear about the job, but glad that you have one to return to and I hope there isn't a terrible disruption with your leave time. You are in the midst of several transitions and yet staying very positive. Sending you lots of good thoughts as well.

tornwordo said...

I saw on FB that you brought him home. Yay! Wow, so much going on right now. This is a really big year for you.

Snooze said...

Rox: I have my complete sucky moments, but yeah, I do try to get perspective. I am happy to have my bod back, but unfortunately that includes the big fucking gut I had even pre-pregs

Susan: Thanks for the good thoughts! Yes, my job situation is weighing on me, but looking at all the transition you went through has inspired me.

Lesley: LIke you, I loved my job so I'm not sure what the new one/transition holds in store for me. Thanks for the good thoughts, and right back at ya!

Torn: I fought the hospital and won (well, it wasn't much of a fight), but yes, so good to have my little poo home