Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The long, long, long f-ing summer

I have a poem that sums up this summer for me. It's taken from a poem a friend wrote in high school:

I'm tired of work
I'm tired of life.
Do me a favour -
Give me a knife.

[I always laugh when I think of this poem because my friend wrote it as a complete joke but later heard her mom reading it over the phone to someone. Her mother thought she was suicidal]

Anyhow, depression has kicked my ass this summer. I'm not suicidal, but for a while I was like the living dead. Life has been okay but my moods have not been. I'm feeling better but good grief, I was at the point where I was becoming such an anxious panicked drag that I wanted to start avoiding all friends. It freaked me out.

It's weird accepting that my moods rarely have anything to do with my life circumstances. At least I am finally recognizing that and am taking action. And of course the Olympics have been a very soothing background for when I want to turn my mind off.

And I'm off on vacation for a bit. so have fun kids!

11 comments:

Roxrocks said...

Did you know that one in ten Canadians suffer from anxiety and/or depression?

I'm teetering also.

tornwordo said...

Mood undulations are normal. I'm a bit leery about medicating every discomfort away. That said, I'm usually in the pits in January, but this year I'm going to take vitamin D. St John's Wort has been helpful as well (I think, or it's just the placebo effect.)

Dantallion said...

Have a great vacation. Things will pick up soon. Moods can be such a cyclical thing - pain in the ass, that.

Freak Magnet said...

Depression's a killer.

No pun intended.

I hope you start feeling better, sweetie. Half the battle is recognizing the problem, so you're halfway there.

Susan as herself said...

Hahaha! I love that poem!!

This has been one Sh*tty summer for me---all circumstance related. UGH.

The fall had damn well be an uphill swing.

Have a great vacation!!!

CoffeeDog said...

Come back refreshed sweetie :-)

mainja said...

Torn - be careful with St. John's Wort. It's just an anti-depressant like any other, but it's not as regulated, and it can have some nasty side effects.

If you're going to take it I'd suggest working with a homeopathic doctor to do it. And do some careful research on it.

Just because it's 'natural' doesn't mean it's better than something 'chemical'. Asprin, totally natural, kicks the shit out me, tylonol, not natural, does not kick the shit out of me.

Brice said...

Don't forget to go out with your friends.

eroswings said...

Have a great vacation. Try some art or writing the next time you feel the mood swings. Some of the best art and music are born out of moody minds and stressed souls.

Or you can go to the local dollar theater and watch a movie you'd normally never watch...either you'll laugh or you'll be glad you only spent a dollar.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I know how you feel, Snooze.

I hope your holiday is refreshing.

Snooze said...

Hey guys, I agree that moods are natural but this summer was out of control. I couldn't cope with work and that's where the line was drawn for me. Much better now though. And I am going to take all the advice given here. xo