Monday, April 06, 2009

connections

I met someone really quite spectacular in January (yes, yes - the married guy). We only had a coffee together, but there was something so delightful about him. And yet, I went away to Wyoming and it all fell apart. He has disappeared into the ether, but really, I'm not going to lose it over some guy who I only met once, and who is dealing with his own life changes at present. Still, meeting him still makes me smile. Makes me realize that there are some incredibly unique and spectacular people to be met on cheesy dating sites. I'll find another who will be a tad more available.

I'm sharing some time with another person right now, and in his own way, he is equally as spectacular. I'm not sure how this is going to develop as I thought he was in an open but very committed relationship, but it turns out that he's single. Hmmm.

I'm glad that I can still love and praise Rob for what he gave to me and what I shared with him, but that I am able to move on. I can also accept that Rob didn't choose to maintain a frienship, for whatever reason. I used to feel so guilty because my depression caused me to be such a fucking energy suckage at the end, and so nasty in my pain - it was my terror that I would never be able to bond with anyone. Yet here I am, putting out positive energy again and although I have had to accept that I can't right past behaviour, I did get treated, and I did learn. Today this little moment is making me smile.

9 comments:

Susan as herself said...

Sometimes you can feel it when you meet someone---there is something there that you cannot define, but that feel right. Sometimes it just lasts for that one day, and sometimes it lasts for years. Either way, it's very cool when that happens. Makes me feel like everything is OK with the universe.

Brice said...

"there are some incredibly unique and spectacular people to be met on cheesy dating sites" - I met YOU on one of those. May not have started a marriage, but we've got a good, long friendship so far...

Roxrocks said...

I've always believed that the moment you stop looking, that is when you will be found.

I'm glad your heart is open to it.

Laverne said...

There is something about just knowing there are others out there. Even if it doesn't last or it's not the right time. I know exactly what you mean, exactly.

Maybe it's time for me to be putting that energy out there again too.

CoffeeDog said...

Getting your toes wet is a good start!

Snooze said...

Susan: I am so in agreement with you

Brice: Absolutely. But Nerve used to be not so cheesy.

Rox: Right now I'm trying to figure it all out

Laverne: You are putting out the right energy. I'm so excited about your upcoming adventure!

CD: Toes? Well I'll start with getting those wet... ;-)

eroswings said...

Life is strange sometimes. But I like to think that people come and go in our lives for a reason. They each teach us something important, and we use that knowledge to be better, stronger, and smarter in life.

If it's meant to be, then it will be...sounds cheesy, but some things in this world happen because they're supposed to happen, whether it be a rainbow after the rain or stars shining on a clear night.

Snooze said...

Eros: Very true. I'll always be grateful I had him in my life. He gave me such sexual confidence.

EarthMother said...

Hey I haven't been here in absolute ages but I loved reading this post. It's good to hear you talking about this stuff and just reading it put a smile on my face. Love you hon! xo