Monday, December 07, 2009

Don't get between me and my espresso

The nearest Starbucks was short-staffed or deficiently staffed today - either way everything was taking a long time. However, it's only coffee. This guy in front of me was being so freaking rude to the woman behind the counter and started barking at her after she gave him his sandwich, "Knife! Knife! I want a knife! Didn't your hear???? KNIFE!" She handed him one and this was followed by "Fork! Fork! And a FORK". [and this had already followed his muttering diatribe that started from the time he ordered]. Meanwhile, my head is about to fall off, I'm dying for an espresso, and all the staff look like they are no longer functional and so fed up with it all.

He received his knife and fork and I looked at him and said, "You're welcome" He glared at me.

I continued, "You know - please, thank you - common manners? You should try them."

Of course I ruined my etiquette lecture by adding (and not in a whisper), "You're a complete asshole. Oops! I guess I'm not showing any manners now but you don't deserve them. You fucking asshole"

The whole time he was making kissing noises at me. Honestly, I can't believe how irate I was. I walked out with my espresso, resisting the urge to keep up our public display of boorish behaviour as he was saying, "What? Where you going?"

Long day people. Long week. End in sight though.


Rox said...

Maybe the next time you see that prick, he'll be on crutches after someone tries running him over! Ahhh wishful thinking.

Don't you wish we could all carry Tasers? By "we" I mean "women." HA!

Susan as herself said...

Oooooooooooh---that sort of patron drives me batty. As a Starbucks employee I used to take great pleasure in pretending not to see/hear them.

eroswings said...

I can't stand rude mofos, esp when they start acting like jackasses. I have worked at places where I run into people like that. Sometimes, it's fun to empty the coffee pot before they take their coffee break; relocate the stapler from them; and once, I worked with a total a-hole who was being rude to the secretary and the rest of us, I shook his soda bottle really hard before he came in the break room.

It was fun watching all that soda explode on him :) Then I acted all surprised and innocent and offered him paper towels to clean himself up. Mwahahahahahah!!!!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I'm surprised he didn't get that knife and fork in his eyes.

I hope that espresso kicked in pretty quickly.

Perplexio said...

I think I've been spoiled by Caribou Coffee. I have trouble drinking Starbucks any more. It always tastes like the beans were a bit burnt before they were ground and brewed...

It sounds like he could have used a coffee spill on his beans to expedite the prevention of his procreation. Assholes like that really should not breed and inflict the world with the curse of their spawn.

Stewie said...

You are awesome. Period. I love people that shut down bullies.

Rebekah said...

Oh man... I would've freaking lost it too. The kissing noises. That's what would've done me in.

I take a condescending approach to idiots like that,

"You are one manly man there, aren't you? Woo... get a lot of women with that?"

Then I'd wreck it by calling him an anus probe.

Snooze said...

Rox: Tasering his ass would have been the best

Susan: Hee - I would love to have seen you ignoring the ilk

Eros: omg I love the soda story.

IDV: It did - thank god the caffeine swept away the rage

Perplexio: You completely crack me up. Now come on, with great moves like his kissy noises, I'm sure this dude has already procreated a gazillion times [sadly, it's probably true]

Stewie: We should form a team and fight a-holes everywhere!

Rebekah: Now see? I needed your wit rather than my 'you're a fucking asshole' comment. Your put down would have been so much better

tornwordo said...

Wow, I'm impressed. That's precisely why I can't work in the service industry. I'll call the fuckers out.

Snooze said...

Torn: You and me both my friend