Sunday, October 24, 2010

the mIssing kink

One thing that pregnancy has done is zapped my libido. By the end of the day I have no energy, and I'm often somewhat queasy so that doesn't make for a great sex drive. Also, because during the first trimester I had a good deal of spotting and bleeding (apparently quite common, but also quite alarming), this left penetration off the menu. Or at least vaginal penetration, but the lack of energy and nausea negated other choices too.

What I did continue for the first bit of my pregnancy were my weekly bondage lessons. I am trying to improve my rope skills so my rope top would come over once a week and I'd practice my knots. Sometimes TM was there too. Not really participating, but just absorbed in surfing the net while my rope top bound my feet and hands. [as an aside, this is a huge part that makes me adore TM. His kink metre isn't quite as high as mine, but My rope top and I are fully dressed and having a grand old time working on ties and TM respects that as much as he respects my love of snowboarding. Besides, he knows that ultimately he can be the beneficiary of any skills I learn].

And then my old friend fatigue kicked in and my weekly lessons stopped. Recently though I've begun to panic thinking that if I don't have lessons now, I certainly won't have energy for them once the baby arrives. This is also my panic about kink and sex in general. I have hence decided that whatever energy I have left at the end of the day, it will go to at least massaging TM. I need to 'use it or lose it' when it comes to a sex drive. So ironic that when I was single I made a lot of effort to go out and seek partners and experiences and now that I have a source here all the time, I'm asleep.

I know... welcome to marriage! welcome to pregnancy! the rest of you are saying...


Hammy said...

The fatigue issue will at least change - during pregnancy it will vary, and after you'll be able to control your schedule a little better. Meaning the things that make you tired will be right in front of you, not sneaking up hormonally!

Hang in there. Could that be considered a terrible rope pun? Apologies...


Matt Swift said...

I like you. This post is just one of the reasons.

eroswings said...

Well, enjoy laying about for now...I hear later on the hormones rev up the sex drive!

Stewie said...

Holy shit, I disappear for a few months and I come back and your pregnant and practicing S&M.

Congrats, you!

Susan as Herself said...

This will pass... remember it's just a stage. You need your rest now---I think your body is just being insistent about it.

Oh, and I love the title of this post. HA!

Snooze said...

Hammy: The fatigue is slowly starting to leave. Rope puns are always welcome.

Matt: Mutual fan club.

Eros: I sure hope so!

Stewie: Those are my initials after all!

Susan: It's so crazy. I'm a slave to my hormones (as if years of PMS wasn't enough) I don't know how women have 5 or more kids.