Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I want to pay for it

I so wish sex work was legal. I mean, solicitation is illegal in Canada but sex work is not, so theoretically I could hire a sex worker; but I wish it was socially acceptable. Not so much because I'm worried about stigma, but then because it could be normalized and I could get a good recommendation of who to ask for. I remember back in high school, when I was a virgin, and my friends and I used to discuss who the best guys were to make-out with. Oddly enough, we were so much more relaxed with our sexuality then.

I miss the type of wild uninhibited sex I had with my ex. That's the thing - when you are in a relationship, and your partner is good, the sex is great and even if one of you is not in the mood, there are ample opportunities for you both to be in synch and have fun experimenting. Hell, when I'm in a relationship that's going well, even if the sex isn't technically great, I still love it. You're connecting to the person and it's wonderful.

On the other hand, I no longer date for sex. To me it's a complete waste of time. To just do the basics and get off - yeah, most people are adequate and that's fine and all, but I'd rather just pleasure myself. For those really hot sessions though, you need to have someone you've practiced with or it's hit or miss. I mean, I'm not wasting my time only to find out that the guy is not creative, doesn't know what the fuck he's doing, or can't get it up. Again, in a relationship, you have time to teach each other what you like and if the dude has a bout of erectile dysfunction or the woman's on the heaviest day of her period - fine, you wait it out. I also can't explore the full range of sex with someone I don't know.

For example, recently I've been craving anal sex and golden showers of all things. Of course I could go on the intimate section of LL and get offers to fulfill those desires within seconds. Again, not because there's anything particularly special about me, but I went on that site once before (and not asking for anything in particular) and within seconds of logging in I was inundated with IM messages asking me if I was into threesomes, black guys, young guys, 10 inch cock - - you get the idea. It was so obvious that the thinking was, "Oh. Someone female has signed on. Let me see if she's good to go." This so does not appeal to me.

I'm also not into fuck buddies. I am when I'm in a relationship, but I don't like constantly being the piece of ass on the side.

But I would love to hire a pro. It would be so great. When I was in Jackson Hole the best money I spent [even though I'm still paying it off] was for snowboarding lessons. My instructor made the days so enjoyable. He knew what he was doing and I benefited from his knowledge.

I would see a sex worker like that, and what's more, I would worry less about infections with a sex worker because I believe they would respect proper condom use, and my boundaries. With some guy off a fetish or dating site, you have no idea what quality you're getting. Ah well, a girl can dream. Besides, even if it was acceptable, my snowboarding trip set me back so much that I couldn't afford a top-rate sex worker. Next year I'll have to find a snowboarding instructor who gives happy endings.


eroswings said...

It's time to write to your representative or run for public office.

Perhaps the Quebec block can run on a legalized sex work platform. I'm pretty sure the French are the whores of the European continent; them and the Dutch.

tornwordo said...

Shit they have coaches for everything else, why not sex coach. Better yet, there should be degrees, wouldn't it be cool to have your phd in intercourse?

I like laverne's take on anal. Like sticking a doorknob in your nostril.

Brice said...

Get in touch with Megan's friend David. He's fairly well known in the poly scene, cute, nice, etc...
I don't know if he'd charge you, but I bet he's good. And likely up for what you're into.
Wishing that sex work legality won't help, just get a referral and jump in!

Roxrocks said...

Zoinks! I'm like Laverne about the anal, I'd RATHER have a doorknob in my nostril! LOL!

I'm such an old married lady. (Well, hardly a lady, really!) If Derwood Golden Shower'ed me, I'd have his prostate checked. My sex life would bore you.

Brice said...

I DON'T like Laverne's take on anal!

Susan as herself said...

OK, I am laughing at the idea of a snow-boarding coach giving you a happy ending.

(And if you find one, lemme know.)


Snooze said...

Eros: Oh yeah - the Quebecois rock!

Torn: I love your idea of a sex coach. That's exactly what I want.

Brice: I've met David briefly. He is great! But he has partners and I can't just show up and ask for services. I'm not looking for poly (it's not me although I can do open)- just help.

Rox: No it wouldn't! Like I noted, anything with someone you love is fantastic.

Brice: Luckily I haven't had that sort of experience. The visual cracks me up though.

Susan: In my dreams my snowboard instructor gave me many happy endings!

Laverne said...

I so agree with you snooze.

I've gone so long without sex I think everything I have has atrophied.

We can order a pizza, we can pay someone to polish our toenails,or rip the hair from our pubes; why is it so taboo to pay someone with talent in another particular area?

Gosh, I miss it.

Snooze said...

Exactly! Order in a pizza and some sex. Just guessing from dating sites is not worth it.