What if...
What if in a relationship YOU were the asshole, the jerk, the one who fucked it up completely? I would love to look back and see that all the guys I dated were flawed in some way and didn't recognize my inherent greatness, but truly, I was so utterly and ultimately destroyed by my last break-up that I had to realize that maybe I was the problem in my relationships.
9 comments:
I can only think of one time where I was the asshole.
A few months after the breakup I sent an email apologizing for being a dick. Not taking blame for ALL the badness, but acknowledging that how i'd treated her was the worst in my dating history and that I regretted my behaviour. Didn't want a response, and didn't get one, but it helped me better myself...
I had one relationship where we were both bad. Together, we were toxic. I shudder to think back on that.
What's a relationship?
Live and learn. What's done is done, so just move on with what you now know.
Next time, just be clean and have lube on hand--it should ease any interactions if a dickhead pops up in your relationship.
You can look back, but the best thing to do is to realize that a relationship is between *two* people, and sometimes the interactions of how those two mix is what breaks it.
And it is usually not just one... Sometimes one is worse (or better) than the other, but it is rare that all the blame belongs on one person's shoulders.
Just realize what went wrong, figure out how you dealt (or didn't deal) with it, learn from it and then move on.
You only grow when you learn from your past mistakes. Time will heal your heart. I know... I've been there.
What do you mean "What if"? I was the arsehole in my last break up, not once, but three times - Yes, I was so awful that after the first break up, we tried again twice more, only for me not to have changed.
But, to be fair, neither did he.
Ummm... That doesn't really help, so I'm going to agree with Eros and Ponita. Besides, you're wonderful!
Oh, and (after reading the previous posts that I'd mssed): Congratulations!
Self-examination is brutal sometimes!
You know, with Rob, I thought I had been very patient and very tolerant, but only AFTER going on anti-depressants, after my post break-up crash, do I realize how my sadness and emptiness was a result of me and my fucked up hormones, and I realized how I had become this whining annoying drag on both of us. really humbling, and frightening too when I realized how out of whack my whole sense had become.
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